Hamam?...or Human Car Wash??

I am in Meersburg am Bodensee (aka Lake Constance) taking intensive German classes for 2 weeks. [Check out http://www.meersburg.de] Intensive means from 8:30 - 5:30...4 hours of grammar to start the morning and another 4 hours of conversation and an hour for lunch. Anyone who has studied German (or any language for that matter!) will know that 4 hours of grammar alone is enough to give you a headache.

The truth is I am really lucky to be here and am thankful to have a chance to focus on learning German because after living in Germany for 3 months I am finding it quite difficult to really LIVE without knowing the language. I can get by, but I really want to create a life for myself in Deutschland ; ). So, here I am with 4 hours of grammar, and 4 hours of practicing...and the practice doesn't end when I leave the course...surprise! I leave the course and still get to speak GERMAN! ; ) Did I say how much I LOVE speaking GERMAN?

For a bit of relaxation I decided to take advantage of the beautiful spas that they have here in the area.

This is how they advertised the massage I selected:
Massages / Hamam

The Greeks, Indians, Persians and Chinese have used massage for centuries for healing or simply for well being.  Treat yourself to one of the various professional massages offered by the Meersburg Spa. From the traditional back and full-body massage to the Oriental foam massage in our Hamam, we will relax you from head to toe.

HAMAM - Ceremony - Enter the world of the Arabian Nights and leave it totally relaxed, refreshed and reborn.

The Oriental HAMAM is a ceremonial method of cleaning the body through a foam massage, during which you lie on a warm stone and are showered gently with warm water. You will receive a soft face peeling with special silk gloves and a full-body massage with pure, biological plant oils. You will instantly experience deep relaxation and feel your stress, tension and worry subside.

Along with a picture of a man with about 8 inches of foamy bubbles covering his body as he is being massaged...that looked pretty amazing.

Clemens approached as I waited at the Spa Bar and introduced himself as my masseur. We entered the Hamam and he asked me to take off my towel and lie face down on a large heated ceramic "bed".  (The spas here are pretty much clothing free, as are the massages, this is not for the prudish.)  Next to the bed was a ceramic fountain. Clemens asked me if I had ever had a Hamam, I said this was my first.  He asked if I would like him to explain what was going to happen, I told him that I liked surprises and we should just start.  He asked me to take 2 deep breaths and relax...not a problem.

The massage began by him taking bowls (I peaked!) of water at the perfect temperature and slowly pouring them over my body from about 2 feet from above. The warmth and the sensation was quite nice and very relaxing. He continued until he had slowly poured water over my whole body. Off to a nice start...I began to relax. Ahhhh! ; ) Suddenly he was taking buckets of water and throwing them at me as if I was a fire and he was trying to put me out...his life seemed to depend on it. Interesting...I felt very wet....

Next he start at my toes and worked his way up as we scrubbed my whole body with a very rough loofah glove...okay, not exactly relaxing but I am sure it is good for circulation or something! Again with the onslaught of warm water. Fine...the payoff came next - the foamy bubbles, thick and luxurious...very nice. He seemed to have a bag of foam that he put all over my body. The sensation was amazing, I could seemingly feel each bubble as it burst on the surface of my skin. The bubbles started sliding across my body...also a nice sensation...then came his hands as he massaged me with firm strokes. Ahhh! ; ) When he gets to my shoulders he senses the tension and really digs deep to loosen the muscles. He works very hard at it and it almost seems like he is either trying to pull my shoulder out of its socket or to put it back in while he jumps up and down...I wasn't quite sure if he thought I was possessed and he was trying to exorcise me or exactly what he was trying to accomplish. Not very pleasant. : (

He finished and asked me to turn over onto my back. Completely naked he began the ritual by slowly pouring the warm water all over my body paying particular attention to my breasts. He then poured warm water for several minutes across my forehead and into my hair...this felt so nice. For some reason my front did not need to be loofahed and he skipped right to the foam which was fine with me! The foam is thick and luxurious scented with Sandalwood, he applies the foam with something that is soft and silky. The bubbles burst and slide across my body; it feels as if there are hands all over me. Very relaxing...mmmmm. Then he begins to trail his fingers across the foam, he accidently touches my nipple and the foamy fantasy begins...before my foamy fantasy gets very far he is pelting me with bowls of freezing cold water (the equivalent of a cold shower??) and I wonder if I should have after all asked him to explain what the Hamam entailed. He asks me to open my eyes, sit up, then stand up with my back facing him. The torrents of cold water continue with fury and force. He finally stops, puts his hand on my shoulder, looks me in the eyes as he smiles and asks if I enjoyed the Hamam. I am not sure what so say and wonder if this is really what it was supposed to be like or if he is maybe still in training.

I thank him (I am not sure why) and he escorts me to a "quiet" room where he asks me to relax while he goes to get me some herbal tea to warm me up.

So, I ask myself, was that really a massage or a human car wash?