There is a small flaw in my current GPS system, I am not sure if this is a German flaw or a Mercedes flaw - but I guess it is one and the same! My GPS request begins by entering a street name, no problem (usually except when the words have the funny umlauts!), then I enter the street number. When I enter the street number it gives me a grouping of numbers to select, for example 1-12. Which is what happened yesterday. I was trying to find the market research pilots we were conducting at Potsdamer Platz, 9. I entered "Potsdamer Platz" - great, halfway done...then I entered the street number "9" and the grouping "1-12" came up. I selected that grouping as it contained "9".
I headed off toward my destination "Interview & Exploration". As enter the center of the heart of Berlin my GPS announced "You have reached your destination"...I am surrounded by high rise buildings, intersections, traffic, pedestrians and no number 9 in sight - or any other number for that matter. Obviously the GPS was only going to get me so far! : (
I slowed down to try to find number 9 - I validated that I was on the right track having found 4 and 12. However, I was afraid my search would be futile and I didn't have the patience to search too long. I called Andre who was already at the location. I explained my situation and he looked out the window trying to find landmarks to help me identify the correct building. "We are across from the 'Price Waterhouse' building", okay I saw the PW building; "We are across from the 'Die Bahn' building". Good, I was on the right side of the street that was helpful to know.
Suddenly I see this hand having in my passenger side window...somebody with a bright (ugly!) green sleeve. Okay, interesting. Then I see a face in the window...it is the Polizei! Ooops! I guess that even when you are lost it is still illegal to use your cell phone without being "hands free". His wave became more urgent as he directed me to follow him. I quickly hung up on Andre and followed. We turned the corner and he continued down the street...clearly not in the direction that Andre had indicated. I was definitely going to be late for market research.
After pulling over I parked and waited for instructions. The officer approached my car and said something intelligble (to me!) in German. I am sure it was important and meaningful, I just didn't understand. I decided my strategy would be to play "dumb American tourist"...it is not a stretch at all for me. "Sprechen Sie Englisch?" I asked. He looked at me with frustration and said "Nein". Okay, so maybe this would work, he didn't seem to want to deal with a English speaking tourist. Unfortunately for me, he decided to be tenacious.
His left arm was in the air with his finger wagging at me with his right hand poised in the universal "call me" sign. He looked so funny, I had to hold back my smile. He asked me for my driver's license in German and I understood this but I was decided to "play through". I just looked at him puzzled. He pointed at my wallet and I quickly pulled out 50 Euros and he shook his head. He started reaching for my wallet and I pulled it away as if I were afraid he would take something. He said emphatically "Fuehrerschein" more loudly.
I was glad to see that Americans aren't the only ones who speaks more loudly when a foreigner doesn't understand in hopes that the increased volume will result in fluency in understanding the foreign language. If I don't understand German he can say it as loudly as he wants and I still won't understand. It was starting to get funny. His frustration increased as I looked at him perplexed. He then starting pantomiming driving a car, putting his hands on an invisible wheel wiggling his hips and moving his straight arms in the 10:00 and 2:00 position...with all the passersby in Potsdamer Platz to bear witness. (There are about 70,000 passersby on a daily basis, I hope some of them appreciated the entertainment that I was helping to provide!)
I think I pushed him too far. He gave up and decided to just run my license plate. Having already racked up my share of tickets in the 10 weeks that I have been here I was afraid of what he might find! He came back and asked me to verify that the address he had written down was mine. It was. I nodded with a worried look thinking that he was starting to gain on me and sorry that charades were over. He originally was going to have me pay a 40 Euro fine but once he verified my address he gave me my money back and handed me an ominous green slip with tiny German words with a few boxes checked. Before I let him go I asked him if he could tell me where Potsdamer Platz, 9 was. He said "No", grinned at me and waved goodbye.
Lessons in Living - Berlin:
Don't make it a habit of getting pulled over by the police for entertainment or to practice your German
Don't trust your GPS - use back-up methods for directions (Mapquest!)
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